Greg Recommends Sid Meier's Pirates!

Price : $10.00

Website : GoG / STEAM

Sid Meier's Pirates is a classic game all the way back from the era of MICRO PROSE and the Commodore 64! It's had many re-releases for a variety of computer types and consoles over the decades, all of them have been excellent for their time and the most recent PC iteration of this lighthearted swashbuckling gem was released by 2K Games in 2005 with some welcome additions that run alongside the tried and true core. I played this game to death in three different eras (1987, 1994, and 2005 versions) and I would have to say that this one, while a bit cartoony and sometimes silly, is the best.

The intro sequence for new games explains the story well enough. While a child your family was part of the upper-middle class society when one fateful night a large shipment was lost at sea and the evil Marquis de Montalban takes your family captive to work off their debt to him but you escape. Years later, a grown man, you enter a tavern where you are given the option to enter your name, the level of difficulty you wish to play at, one of five skills that you excel in, and a captain (nation) to sign on with. The captain turns out to be a ruthless pirate, you lead a coup to take over the ship, and now stand at the helm with the crew cheering you on, The New World before you, a medallion with a picture of your family close to your heart, and at least one villain who needs avenging.

Sailing into port for the first time...

So what exactly do you do in Sid Meier's Pirates? Well, it's a swashbuckling adventure so once you pull into port and meet with the governor he will give you a letter of marque which authorizes you to attack enemy ships / ports, claim all the plunder for yourself, and get rewarded for it by the nation you chose to sail with. The governor will also introduce you to his (very eligible) daughter and inform you that a small enemy merchant vessel was just spotted near the port. (This encounter serves as the combat tutorial for both ship to ship and swashbuckling mini-games) After that it's up to you. The Caribbean is a large area, full of adventure, plunder, and quests with special rewards all their own. You can sink ships, cross swords with other captains, hunt down famous pirates, follow treasure maps, upgrade your ships, romance governors' daughters, sneak into enemy cities, sack enemy cities, and of course locate, rescue and avenge your family.

Pirates is an arcade type adventure game so you don't play it for its amazing depth or strategic value. It's a colorful inviting and fun romp about the Caribbean that you can lose yourself in without thinking too much. You sail in your flagship (with however many other ships in your possession tagging along behind you) using the numb pad or arrow keys. From this 'overland view' you can sail to various ports, engage other ships, or make landfall. The action takes place in the various mini-games that trigger according to your decisions. They aren't overly difficult but they are colorful and well executed. Here's an overview of the sort of fun that can be had here.

Ship to Ship Combat

When you decide to attack another ship it is your chosen flagship verses the other (and maybe one escort). You must use the wind to your advantage and either blast them to pieces with your cannons or ram them to engage in close combat to take over the ship all the while dodging their cannon fire. Depending on your ship upgrades you can have up to three ammunition types. Round shot will do heavy hull damage and has a chance of removing enemy cannons, chain shot will damage sails, and grape shot will damage crew. Debris, cargo, cannons and random sailors will fling off ships satisfactorily upon impact with hull and sail damage colorfully displayed on both ships. Shoot them too much and they may sink sink taking all their gold and cargo with them, but if you don't weaken the enemy vessel you will risk its powerful broadside attacks in trying to get up close or it may be too quick to catch.

Swashbuckling

Every time you ram another ship, challenge someone to a duel, or storm the ramparts of an enemy port it is time for some sword to sword fun. You begin by choosing your weapon (either rapier for quick attacks, cutlass for quick defense, or longsword for a balanced approach) and maybe taking a shot at the enemy captain with a pistol or two. Your crew engages the enemy crew all around you and their numbers are displayed at the bottom of the screen. You use the numb pad to either attack or defend from the high, middle, or low positions.

This game is all about timing. When you see the enemy captain preparing to strike use the appropriate defense to block his shot and knock him off balance. Use attacks when you see an opening. Whoever makes a successful attack will knock the other a few steps back. If you make an unsuccessful attack you get a speed penalty. You win either when your opponent gets pushed off the ship or if he runs out of crew. This is the basic mechanism of the game but it's clothed in fun and exciting aesthetics; crew sword fighting and swinging around you, explosions, and short but seamless cut-scenes make this a suitably adventurous (yet simple) game of speed and reflexes.

Dancing and Romancing

Should you attract the eye of a young lass you will have the chance to impress her (and her father) with your wit and charm through the highest of high society's entertainment, ballroom dancing. This is a difficult mini-game, arguably the most difficult. The key is timing. The governor's daughter will give you hand gestures which equate to which button you need to press on the numb pad to successfully perform the next dance move. If you hit the right button at the right time, you don't make a fool of yourself, if you hit the wrong button or get the timing wrong then you fumble / step on her feet, if your timing is perfect then you perform an impressive flourish. Your progress is reflected in the beating heart at the top of the screen, the more impressed your partner is the larger the heart gets and the better your reward at the end of the dance. Governor's daughters are surprisingly resourceful and may give you some useful information or present you with special items or pieces to some of the more difficult treasure maps to find. 

Treasure Hunting

What would a Pirate adventure game be like without buried treasure? Probably accurate because pirates never actually buried treasure, but who cares about accurate when you could be having fun! Over the course of the game you may find pieces of various treasure maps. If you can put them together they will show you where you can find a famous pirate's hidden treasure along with various landmarks to to point you in the right direction and the name of a port that is nearby. Upon landing near the location where you think the map is pointing you will lead your men on a merry hunt and hopefully there will be thousands of doubloons (or a long lost family member) waiting at the end. When playing on harder difficulties the amount you can zoom out is so small that you will be needing to use your telescope, preferably from a nearby hill, to get your bearings straight.

Person Hunting

Over the course of your travels you may be asked to hunt down a wanted criminal or other villains that may hold clues as to the whereabouts of the evil Marquis de Montalban. You can get information about the whereabouts of wanted people from taverns, governor's daughters, and the crew of ships who have had recent contact with said person. If you're quick you may be able to intercept their ship or confront them in a tavern before they slip away from you and the scent goes cold. Wanted criminals can be turned in for a bounty but they may also offer you rare items if you let them go instead. Villains will hold pieces of maps leading to the more difficult to find treasures such as whereabouts of your family members, lost cities of gold, and where you can finally take on that old devil the evil Marquis de Montalban and put an end to him for good.

Sneaking into Enemy Territory

You may run into a situation where you need to get into port but that particular port does not want you inside it. Time for the stealth mini-game! Armed with a backjack you stalk the streets at night trying to get to either the governor's mansion or the tavern near the centre of town. You must avoid the guards, whose line of sight is visualized by the light of their lanterns, and if they catch you they will put you in the dungeon. You are, of course, smarter and more dexterous than city guards and are able to climb vine covered walls, hide behind hay stacks, and sneak behind guards to knock them out. If things get too risky you can leave the city by making your way back to any one of the four edges of the map.

Capturing Ports

If you have enough men and you feel a bit lucky then you can try your hand at capturing an enemy port. This will take you to a square grid map where you have control of a handful of pirate units and your enemy will have their own city guard units. On your turn you can move or attack with each your units and on the enemy's turn they will move and attack with theirs. Clever captains will ensure that incoming enemies are either weakened by your ranged 'Buccaneers' units or keep your forces safe from enemy ranged attacks by using jungle tiles for cover. Clever captains will also keep in mind that flanking attacks are twice as strong as regular attacks and that height and troop morale bestow bonuses or penalties to the strength of your units. You win when all enemy units flee or if you can get at least one of your units to the gates of the city. You then sack the city, plundering gold and goods and, if you beat them soundly enough, you can install your own governor to change the nationality of the port.

Upgrade Hunting

While not technically a mini-game in and of itself you will find yourself seeking out all manner of upgrades for your ship as well as special items, titles, and skilled crew members, all of which benefit you in different ways. You acquire ship upgrades either by purchasing them at ports or capturing a ship that already has them installed. Each port only has one type of upgrade so you may need to look around a bit and maybe see if anyone in the local tavern has information on which ports sell which upgrades. Specialized crew members (cook, carpenter, officers) will join you if you capture a ship with one on board. Personal items are won by completing special missions, purchasing them from shady sailors, or given as gifts by a governor's daughter if you can impress her on the dance floor. Titles are bestowed upon you by governors if your actions have benefited their nation enough to merit the title.

Plundering The Treasure Fleet and Simple Economics

Every year The Spanish Treasure Fleet, four huge galleons loaded full of gold and luxury goods, makes its way to each of the ports along The Spanish Main collecting taxes and tribute to send back to Spain. If you can find it, you can plunder it, or at least you can try. There are also smaller 'treasure ships' that a local barmaid or governor's daughter could tip you off on. Smugglers tend to carry valuable cargo in small ships, and intercepting a military payroll always feels nice. There are six commodities in Pirates, food which your crew eats, luxuries and spices, which sell for a high price, goods and sugar which sell for a lower price, and cannons which your ships use to shoot things. Different ports will pay different amounts for these goods and depending on what you're carrying it may be worth paying the local tavern a visit to find out who is buying for the highest price.

Dividing the Plunder and Retirement

Every few years of game time it is advisable that you end your expedition and divide the plunder with your crew. They tend to get a but cranky if they've been sailing with you for five years in a boat overflowing with gold and they still all they want to do is take their share and get off the boat. Dividing the plunder gives each crew member their share while you the captain get a larger share which increases according to the difficulty level you are playing at. All extra goods and ships are sold for gold coin and you will be given the option to plan another expedition either at current level or the next level of difficulty, or retire from pirating altogether. If you plan another expedition then you start afresh with your flagship, a happy crew, and a small stash of gold ready to tackle The Spanish Main all over again. If you retire from pirating then you get a high score based on how much wealth, land, fame, and titles you acquired, if you found love, how many family members you rescued, treasures found, famous pirates defeated, villains avenged, how old you are, etc. and your score determines what your retirement looks like. It is actually quite difficult to get a perfect score but that's probably a good thing.

Conclusion

Sid Meier's Pirates is a kid friendly game with lots of nostalgia value. Anyone who enjoyed an earlier editions of the game in their childhood will really appreciate this title. Newcomers may also be won over by its charm but serious gamers may find it a bit too cartoonish, simple, or repetitive. I think that casual, young, and nostalgic gamers can have a lot of fun with this title and I plan on introducing it to my kids when they are old enough. For $10 it is an excellent value and a good game to own.

Greg Recommends Portal

Price : $10.00

Website : STEAM

Portal, in my opinion, is one of the greatest games ever created. Originally released in 2007 by Valve Portal is a physics puzzler with more than a few twists. I won't spoil it for you, but I will explain what the game is generally about and what sort of fun can be had with it.

You are a volunteer test subject for the Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Centre. Your job is to test out the new portal gun technology by completing various tasks and puzzles with the physics bending tech under the instruction and encouragement of GLADoS, the artificial intelligence in charge of the facility. How much fun could this possibly be? Lets just say this game racked up the awards, continues to get overwhelmingly positive reviews from critics and gamers, and is most definitely in my top 5 best games ever played list.

Of course the game isn't just about puzzling with portals, that might be interesting but it doesn't get the incredible amount of praise that this game gets. No, there is more going on than what originally meets the eye, and the game unfolds its hidden plot one tantalizing string at a time. You clue in pretty early that something isn't entirely right with GLADoS. Random static, fade outs, and some verbal queues make you wonder if she's maybe due for an upgrade. A few levels in and the tests start becoming hazardous. While GLADoS assures you that it is only the appearance of danger meant to provide you with a more enriching experience you begin to wonder if something's a bit off with her morality core. A few more levels in and you begin to wonder if GLADoS just has no concept of what qualifies as 'hazardous' to human beings or if she has no regard for your life at all. Then there are the hidden messages and secret nooks and crannies that GLADoS does not seem to know about. She offers you cake if you complete all of the tests, but the places GLADoS can not see spell out a different story...

From the physics engine to GLADoS dialogue to the humour spread throughout this game is brilliant. It also features some very well executed reveals, definitely above and beyond what you would expect to find in a game about physics puzzles. The game also features some of the best deadpan dark humour you will ever encounter.

Seriously, if you haven't played this game yet then buy it now and play it. This is the best $10 PC game in existence. And once you've played it go buy Portal 2... you'll understand once you play the first one.

Greg Recommends The Stanley Parable

Price : $16.99

Website : STEAM

Originally released a mod for Halflife 2 in 2011 The Stanley Parable was re-released as a stand alone game through STEAM in 2013. You play as Stanley, a faceless employee in a mega corporation whose job is to push buttons but on this particular day nobody else showed up to work and you need to find out what happened to them, or at least that's what the Narrator tells you. You quickly discover that all is not what it seems... It isn't really a 'game' in the traditional understanding, but I *highly* recommend everyone who enjoys games to give this a thorough play through at least once in their lives.

The Stanley Parable is difficult to describe without spoiling so *spoiler alert*.

You start off in your cubical with the Narrator explaining thusly:

Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was Employee #427. Employee #427's job was simple: he sat at his desk in room 427 and he pushed buttons on a keyboard. Orders came to him through a monitor on his desk, telling him what buttons to push, how long to push them, and in what order. This is what Employee #427 did every day of every month of every year, and although others might have considered it soul rending, Stanley relished every moment the orders came in, as though he had been made exactly for this job. And Stanley was happy. 

And then one day, something very peculiar happened. Something that would forever change Stanley; something he would never quite forget. He had been at his desk for nearly an hour when he realized that not one single order had arrived on the monitor for him to follow. No one had shown up to give him instructions, call a meeting, or even say 'hi.' Never in all his years at the company had this happened, this complete isolation. Something was very clearly wrong. 

Shocked, frozen solid, Stanley found himself unable to move for the longest time. But as he came to his wits and regained his senses, he got up from his desk and stepped out of his office.

And you, Stanley, begin moving about the office in search of your missing co-workers. The graphics aren't anything special, but they do work for an office environment. As you search the Narrator will chime in every so often. And then you are faced with a choice. Two doorways. The Narrator says that Stanley picks the door on the right...

Well Stanley? Do you go right or left?

Such a simple choice but oh, what wild and far flung possibilities exist when we play the choices game. You could go right and continue the story, but what would the Narrator say if you went left instead? The Narrator has a story to tell you Stanley, a good and rather exciting story that he put a lot of work into, but do you want to follow that story? You see Stanely, you are not alone, the Narrator is the other character in this game, and although you never see him he works with you and against you to give meaning to your actions. Depending on your choices the Narrator may lead you through a conspiracy plot, a dream sequence, a daring escape, or put you into a completely different game entirely, he may plead with you, applaud you, or just kill you out of frustration. Without him the game would be an empty maze. No Stanley, you may be the hero of the story but you need the Narrator and the Narrator needs you too...

There are many paths you could take, each one something different and something special. This game is more than just a game, it breaks through the fourth wall and acts as an interactive parable on the philosophy of game design. Do you really have choice when you play games? Does the Narrator have choice in what he says? Well of course not, his lines are pre-scripted, but does he know that they are pre-scripted and does it really matter if it seems to you Stanley that he is actually interacting with you and not just pre-programmed? Are your actions pre-scripted Stanley? You, with your conditioning to press buttons when instructed to do so. What is a game really? What happens when you break a game open and run amok? Is it better to have few choices or many choices and at what point do they become meaningless? These are the types of questions and commentary The Stanley Parable asks and investigates and the result is something brilliant, enjoyable, and memorable.

The Stanley Parable is especially fun if you've ever looked into creating your own games as the running commentary will address questions and issues that you've probably run into. This is a seriously clever game that was pulled off flawlessly although the subject material and wit may be lost on the casual gamer. My only caveat is that its rather short and maybe that is more of a compliment than a caveat because I would have absolutely loved to have spent many more hours playing as Stanley and interacting with the Narrator.

The Stanley Parable gets all my love. I Thoroughly enjoyed this title and I think most gamers will too.

Greg Recommends Populous : The Beginning

Price : $5.99

Website : gog.com

The one of a kind God Game RTS, Populous The Beginning, (or Populous 3) is my favorite game from the legendary BULLFROG Studio. This 97 gem was ahead of its time and I have no idea how many hours I've logged on it but lets just say I've memorized each of the maps in the single player campaign and multiplayer matches. Basically, take a simple RTS where you control hoards of cavemen, add a shaman with god-like abilities, and a crazy physics engine and you have Populous 3.

The game's premise is played out in the intro cinematic. A young woman from a tribe of otherwise unremarkable cave persons is able to channel magic. She has visions of other worlds full of hostile tribes that would destroy them if left alone, so she becomes the shaman and leads her people to these other worlds to preemptively destroy their enemies picking up all manner of powerful magics along the way so that she can become a god and they will all live happily ever after (except for everyone on the worlds they burn on their interstellar / interplanar path to victory). It's not a very deep story, but it doesn't have to be.

Each map starts out with your shaman and a handful of villagers around your incarnation circle. As is customary in RTS games your villagers can build buildings, gather resources, and fight things (but are not good at fighting). In Populous they can do all this and train to become warriors, priests, spies, or firewarriors but unlike every other RTS everything they do they do with gusto! Their animations are hilarious and this is the first part of what makes this game so great. If they are building something they actually run around building it, not just hitting the ground next to it, they are literally running around the structure hammering things, hauling things, and jumping up and down to raise / lower the land. If the shaman walks by they immediately fall on their faces in reverence. If you tell them to attack they start running and screaming as fast as they can and then punch, kick, push, pull hair, fall over, roll, get up, run inside a building and shake it all to pieces until it collapses... they're super fun to watch.

You'll use your starting villagers to build huts which will produce more villagers over time depending on how many huts you have. Villagers living in huts allow your shaman to recharge spells faster and also increase the speed at which new villagers are spawned. Extra non-house villagers can be used to grab map spells from magic nodding head statues or trigger a map changing spell from a totem. These are often valuable in your fight against the enemy as they usually contain spells that would otherwise be unavailable. Each map also holds at least one vault which bestows the permanent knowledge of a new spell or building unto your shaman that she can take with her to all future levels. The formula for going through a level is simple, grab the goods in the vault(s) then use said goods to your advantage and kill everyone who is not your color.

The star of the show is your shaman. With an arsenal of spells at her disposal she will eventually be able to level entire cities and send hundreds of enemies to their deaths in the blink of an eye. Her starting spell is the humble fireball which will send small groups of enemies flying, killing villagers it directly hits, starting the pants on fire of enemies that survive (they run around waving their arms and screaming trying to put their pants out). If you are particularly skilled with your shots you can use the physics to your advantage and control which direction the enemies get flung, preferably down a hill for greater damage or into water / lava which is an instant kill. The fact that little people will be sent flying (sometimes quite spectacularly) and then run around yelling and screaming in terror makes this game an absurd amount of fun. Lets just say I wasn't the only one who played the demo over and over, perching my shaman in a tower on top of the hill overlooking the red village and spent hours tormenting the enemy. "Oh look, you just finished repair that house..." wait for everyone to go back in, LIGHTNING STRIKE! House catches fire (again), villagers run out yelling and screaming with their pants on fire. "Oh look, you're sending your army up the hill to kill my shaman..." FIREBALL they all roll back down the hill, many of them die. SWARM SPELL the survivors scatter yelling and screaming before swarms of wasps. Eventually you will be able to call down tornadoes that comically suck the roof off buildings, then suck up everyone inside the building, erode spells that will send buildings and people into the sea, and volcano which creates a lava spewing mountain in the middle of someone's town in addition to many other goodies that are not named here.

Although very powerful your shaman is also quite vulnerable and your enemies also have one shaman each who will be gunning for yours. A stray lightning bolt, falling into water, or straying a little too close to the enemy armies will quickly see her dead. She comes back at the reincarnation circle after a little while but your mortal warriors will have to contend with the enemy in her absence and the enemy team who killed her will get a substantial boost in spell regen for a short time.

It's worth mentioning that every map is spherical. You can zoom out and spin the map to get a satellite view of the action. This may throw new players but I thought it was freaking awesome, especially back in 1997. Similar to Planetary Annihilation, a spherical map means that you can expand, attack, and be attacked from any direction. Most of the beginning levels (and a few multiplayer levels) restrict this because both you and your enemies do not yet have the ability to build boats or hot air balloons. Oh, did I forget to mention that your shaman can cast spells from a mobile hot air balloon? Even once these options are unlocked the strategic affects of the spherical map isn't as potent as PA's.

It's also worth talking about what sort of strategic value can be had with the few unit types available. Villagers can be trained into one of 4 other units by telling them to go train at the appropriate building (they line up to go in one at a time). Warriors are your tough melee hoard members. They will punch, kick, push, and pull the hair of enemies, ganging up on them 3 to 1 if numbers permit and make short work of all but other warriors in melee combat. Firewarriors are ranged combatants whose fireball spell isn't nearly as powerful as your shaman's, but if they all fire at once it will wreck havoc on enemy armies and quite possibly send some into orbit. These are best placed behind your warriors or stationed in a tower which greatly increases their range and firepower. Preachers, instead of fighting, will pull out a holy book and preach to the enemy. All who hear their voice (and are not already in combat) will sit down to listen and over time they will swap there pants colour to join you. If an enemy shaman or preacher goes up and slaps your preacher (for blasphemy?) everyone who was sitting down to listen to him jumps to their feet and beat him up. Spies will appear to be friendly villagers to enemy players who view them but will start their buildings on fire until caught.

The selection is small and simple. The focus really isn't on the units but on your shaman and sort of mayhem you can unleash but don't discount what your army can do. Your shaman can only do so much and even in the late game the enemy shaman or a small group of enemies that get too close can put an end to her. A large army though, not only is that tactically sound but hilarious to watch as they push over buildings, send enemies flying, and possibly lay a beat down on the enemy shaman for you. (An army of preachers is also very frightening, just saying). Add to this the fact that your shaman can make them invisible and immune to spells and they can become nearly unstoppable.

The game ending Armageddon spell sends every player and all of their people into an arena to have it out. Winner takes all.

The computer doesn't play very smart but it was pretty good for 1997 AI. They mostly just sit back and let you build up, sending their shaman and a small raiding party to your village every so often. A well placed lightning bolt or swamp spell usually stops them before they get anywhere close to your village. Later in the campaign they are a bit more aggressive and the map terrain has you at a disadvantage. It's enough to be challenging to casual and beginning players but intermediate RTS players will be underwhelmed. Thankfully the campaign mixes it up with a puzzle map every so often in which you must win by figuring out the solution, usually under an unforgiving timer, instead of by power.

As for multiplayer this game was a blast. Who doesn't love sending hoards of yelling and screaming cavemen to your friend's village and who doesn't love blasting said hoards off a cliff? Who doesn't enjoy a spell slighathon of lightning, dragons, earthquakes, and tornadoes tearing up the map? This is where strategy and experimentation with the physics engine can yield incredible and hilarious results, especially with terraforming spells like land bridge, flatten, volcano, and erosion.

Populous 3 is not a serious strategy game, but it is incredibly fun and very well put together. You play this game for the physics and for messing with the poor little AI villagers. If you can stomach the graphics (which were pretty awesome back in 1997) then the campaign is fun, if a little samey by the end. If you have a group of friends who are willing to go in with you then this is a blast to play multiplayer.


Now there is a light theological point that needs to be addressed. Populous includes blatant idol worship. The little cavemen will literally fall down on their faces to worship the magic nodding heads, totems, and the shaman. Now for anyone who has read through their Bible you know that idol worship and the pursuit of magic are anathema and were a major point of contention between ancient Israel and her God. Obviously Christians should not worship idols so how could I recommend a game that includes idol worship?

My answer is that this is a silly caricature of idol worship in general, nothing that encourages, endorses, or even resembles Old Testament Baal / Ashera / Molech worship.

Yaka! Let the games begin!